So, my husband has been looking for a job. He found one that seemed promising, described itself as a delivery job. It turned out to be a scam company that sells cheap meat at inflated prices (often illegally adding fake fees and taxes if the seller wants to pocket some change), but that’s besides the main point
Before we knew what the company was about, my husband agreed to spend the day shadowing one of the employees. He was told he’d be with “The Cowboy” to get a taste of what working this job is like.
It was a nightmare
The Cowboy’s truck was as you might imagine it. Steel testicles, two waving confederate flags, inflammatory bumper stickers, the works. It had also had some heavy damage—street racing damage and the window on the passenger side had been broken into, which sucked since it was raining, so my husband had rain pouring on him for hours. The guy himself was terrifying. Like a missing link between the teenage dudebro and the jackass middle aged man. He laughed when he saw teenage black kids shake their heads at his flags.
"No one would shoot me. I’m fucking white, I’m unstoppable. I’m someone, they’re no one and they fucking know it. I own this ghetto."
He repeatedly described people using gross racial slurs, and did it with pride. It’s “his heritage and right”, he’d say, his parents and grandparents had the right to use those words, why are his rights taken away by “PC police” right? He’d go on about this for a while
My husband was stuck in a car with these guy for the full work shift. Rain pouring down on one side of him, no matter what he did the guy just got worse. Stop talking, he’ll talk for you. Tell you his racist ideologies. He told my husband the story of how he used to be in the military, and that soon he wants to be a cop. He told him the reason he wanted to be a cop was that “apprehending, questioning, terrifying people, it makes you feel alive.” He told my husband about how he’s almost completed his bucket list. He listed them—some are usual, like leaving the country, seeing this band perform, or, well, killing someone. He’s glad he got that off his bucket list, and he remembers it as a great accomplishment.
Since ignoring him was just encouraging him to talk, my husband tried to talk. Anything said that the Cowboy disagreed with incited really scary rage from this dude. Aggression levels went up and he started making threats and even treating customers differently. This job is a door to door sales job, selling super gross and cheap beef for high prices. When he was aggravated, he started treating his customers like shit. He would point to their yard and ask “How the hell are you n*****s gonna explain that you can afford that trampoline in the back and say you can’t afford my box? Where’d that money go?” etc.etc. it was super gross
He also defended rapists of course and thinks it’s most important to ask a male family member before you fuck their female family member—that’s what a stand up guy would do after all. After all, women aren’t to be trusted, according to him. Any sign that my husband wanted to go home, again made him angry, as he sped up his car he recounted times women had made him humiliated. He talked about how his ex wife killed his children, but the story kept changing. First they were two boys, then they were infants, then they were abortions, then the story changed to “she took rat poison to kill them”, then they were miscarriages. The final version he told was that she had a miscarriage, and he believed that she had one on purpose, but had no proof. He also had no proof they were twins, or boys, but it didn’t stop him from naming them and putting tattoos of those names on his arms, to remind him of how evil his ex was.
I really could talk about this guy for days. He’s 25 years old, that’s only two years off from me, but really he acted like he was born 50 years ago. It’s terrifying, and he described himself as the nice one. My husband ended up being afraid to call me, despite texting me that on multiple occasions he feared for his life. The guy ended up terrifying him into submission and dragged him around for hours, not even letting him stop to get lunch, and questioning him any time he was texting me or talking about leaving.
It ended up giving my husband a near breakdown over all of it, having to be there, standing in a primarily black neighborhood affiliated with this super gross epitome of dudebro culture, racism, sexism, homophobia, etc. and not feeling like he could escape. He did his best to call him out on his bullshit, but it put him in real danger to do so, but he still feels guilt for not doing enough. Especially while all this ferguson stuff is happening, to hear this guy talk and talk about how great it is to be a cop, the thrill of hunting people down, of scaring people, and to hear the words he used to describe people of color. Knowing that this guy is out there, that there are more like him, and that these people are in power and doing horrible things is one thing, but this was a powerful reminder for him, that these people exist and can exist because the world we live in makes it possible and easy for them to do so. This man fully felt in the right, and that the majority supports him, because they don’t speak up when he calls people slurs, because they stand quiet when he beats up “thugs”, because if he kills someone, they’re a no one, but he knows from the news that he’s “someone”. Because he fully supports the police action in Ferguson. It was a reminder that the silence of ‘good people’, our family, friends and neighbors does not support the oppressed, but only supports people like the Cowboy.
Don’t buy from Iowa Steak Company, and if you do, DON’T buy from “The Cowboy” if you live in the general DFW area of TX